Belvedere Vodka Ad, Phase 2 - NOT HOT

Aha!

Remember this ?

We have Phase 2.

Now that she had a turkey sandwich and vodka (= she's full, drunk and horny), she's going down on him.

Brawo! Good job girl, who knows, perhaps he turns out to be a famous photographer?

We can't wait for Phase 3, where she will be giving him a blow job.

Right Belvedere? I mean, you said "a", you said "b", you ought to say a "c".

Belvedere Vodka Ad, Phase 2 - NOT HOT

MasterCard Ad - HOT

There is something wonderful about this photograph.

When I look at it, I am convinced that this could have been the best time of their lives.

Actually, I wish I was the guy on the left.

Yup, a great ad.

MasterCard Ad - HOT

Toyota Land Cruiser Ad - HOT

Click on it.

I'm game.

Because every guy (well, almost) has a bit of Indiana Jones in him.

Toyota Land Cruiser Ad - HOT

IFC, New York CITY - HOT

Last weekend IFC acted like a gentleman.

On Saturday evening it seemed that all NYC moviegoers decided at the same time to watch the "4 Months, 3 Weeks and 2 Days".

I've never seen a line that big in front of the IFC and I certainly haven't seen a line that big on such a cold evening.

And when everyone in the queue was growing just a bit impatient, IFC staff came out with hot chocolate for everyone, and several times as well.

That followed by a nice introduction and apology for the wait from who I guess was the manager, once everyone was seated inside.

Nice IFC.

So for those who are new in NYC - check out the IFC. Not only have they one of the best repertoires and the comfiest seats in town. They're also nice.

IFC, New York CITY - HOT

Chicago Symphony Orchestra Ad - HOT

I mean, you gotta love it.

A guy with a horn instead of the head.

You rock man!

Chicago Symphony Orchestra Ad - HOT

Dr. Martens Ad - NOT HOT

Too much American Apparel in this Dr Martens ad.

Dr. Martens Ad - NOT HOT

Hawthorn Ad - NOT HOT

I am starting to feel this wealth management business.

Old - young - old - young - old - young - old - young.

Hot - not hot - hot - not hot - hot - not hot.

Not hot.

Neeeext!

Hawthorn Ad - NOT HOT

Icon Vallarta Ad - NOT HOT

Uhmmm... No.

Icon Vallarta Ad - NOT HOT

Burton RED Beanie - HOT and WARM

It's so $%^%@%@% cold in New York I can't think properly, thus I won't even try to write anything that makes sense.

My only concern nowadays is how not to die of the freezing temperatures.

One great thing that helps out is the Burton RED beanie.

It keeps your brains (if you have any) so warm it is unbelievable.

I strongly suggest you get one before it's too late. I am talking about the beanie.

Burton RED Beanie - HOT and WARM

Australian Open 2008 Official Players Towel - NOT HOT but PRACTICAL

I was just watching Australian Open and I must say that the official players towel is simply wrong.

How can you possibly concentrate between the gems, or sets, using this frivolous carnival of colors?

I guess Tomáš Berdych thought the same, as playing vs Federer in the 4th round he asked for a white towel.

I don't know, I do appreciate Aussies unbearable lightness of being, yet the palette of colors seems more suitable for surfing, not tennis.

On the other hand, it's extremely practical, after the game you can go straight to the beach.

Australian Open Official Players Towel - NOT HOT but PRACTICAL

Claudio Merazzi Ad - NOT HOT

And again.

I'm getting a feeling that whoever creates these, they think it's cool just because they do this themselves on the weekends.

Uhmm... No.

Even if you show a white waxed ass and a nipple.

Claudio Merazzi Ad - NOT HOT

BellacorPro Ad - HOT

That's how I felt when I was leaving the office today.

And then I found this ad and I wanted to hug the person who created it.

You know the meaning of suffering!

BellacorPro Ad - HOT

BNY Mellon Ad - HOT

Wealth management - same story again.

A wealthy grandpa and a little lucky bastard.

But the execution is good.

BNY Mellon Ad - HOT

Macbookair

Everyone is writing about it, that's why we won't.

Equinox Campaign - HOT

I am excited.

It's January 15th and I already know that this will be one of my favorites for this year.

WHAT'S YOUR AFTER?



Finally Equinox left the oh-so-boring "Gym is your life" crap and proudly moved towards the davidbartonland.

Whether you like it or not, that is true. People work out so that they can shine off their six packs a few hours later in some stranger's bedroom.

Or at least a lot of people do this, just enough to make a campaign like this one come true.



It is all about "look better naked" as David said long ago, and Equinox finally found guts to admit it.

Ellen Von Unwerth was responsible for imagery, and an absolute favorite of mine is the yoga bridge image.



As a matter of fact, now every time I do the bridge (which is about five times a week) I can't think about anything else but this guy surrounded by feather, fruit and candles.

So... What's your after?

Equinox Campaign - HOT

PS The Essentalist humbly admits stealing the images from a great advertising blog The Daily (Ad)Biz after senseless attempts of fitting the newest issue of "Ocean Drive" into, and eventually nearly breaking, the company scanner.

APT Club, New York - HOT

It looks like APT folks had some serious New Year's resolutions made - one of them might have been to take New York clubbing matters in their own hands.

2008 is kicking off with two wonderful news from the APT front.

First of all, Afrika Bambaataa is starting their weekly residency on Tuesdays. That's huge.

Secondly, on Thursday January 17th, APT will host a night with DJ Trickski coming straight from Berlin - a sweet treat for deep techno lovers.

New York party junkies - have APT on your radar this season.

APT Club, New York - HOT

Breezes Ad - NOT HOT

Life's a breeze.

Yup, but only if your fiancee's feet don't smell.

Breezes Ad - NOT HOT

Ralph Schomp BMW Ad - NOT HOT

This is too good to be true.

This is better than Woody Allen.

Yup, you're looking at a BMW with a freaking party hat on the roof and a party whistle in the grill.

How f____ng bizarre is that?

Ralph you smoke way to much weed. Cut it out.

Ralph Schomp BMW Ad - NOT HOT

PS I won't believe that anyone from BMW approved this. It's just impossible.

Hilton Caribbean Ad - NOT HOT

I just threw up all over my room.

Hilton Caribbean Ad - NOT HOT

Paul Stuart Limited Edition Croc Trooper - HOT

Whoa, look at this.

What should you do to get a Crocodile Dundee feeling and at the same time knock all fashionistas of their feet (and give fellow East Village vegans an epilepsy attack) while walking down Broadway?

Paul Stuart Limited Edition Croc Trooper.

It's a few weeks after Holiday shopping season and your credit card damages should have been pretty much repaired by now.

Get that plastic workin' and sign neatly under the $1,387 figure.

What interests me, how did they calculate such a precise number?

Paul Stuart Limited Edition Croc Trooper - HOT

Spiewak - HOT

Spiewak was founded in 1904 in Williamsburg, Brooklyn (yeah, go Brooklyn!)

That should be enough to get you started.

After over 100 years not only are they a brand sold in top boutiques all over the world, but also they have an industrial line worn by 1000‘s of police, fire, and industrial agencies in the United States.

It is a brand that's far from being conventional and you should absolutely check them out.

Spiewak - HOT

RAZK - HOT

RAZK is a Dutch label and a collective of street artists and designers.

Such collectives usually produce very cool apparel.

RAZK is not an exemption from this rule - check them out.

RAZK - HOT

Kidrobot Lacoste Sneakers - VERY HOT

These were released in November 2007, but it's the kind of shoe that will never get outdated.

500 pairs - that's it.

One of the best examples of brands collaboration.

Especially thumbs up for Lacoste, that they dared to look up to Kidrobot's coolness.

Kidrobot Lacoste Sneakers - VERY HOT

PS And the image was stolen from SneakerFreaker.com.

Schmoove Shoes - HOT

Awesome shoes for 2008.

Go to their website, chase the red lamb and see the collection.

It's great.

Schmoove Shoes - HOT

Discogs.com - HOT

Ultimate online database of music releases.

Its original goal was to be the database of electronic music (of course!) but it expanded to cover other genres, including folk.

Anyway, check it out, it's great to find information about pretty much any song/artist.

Discogs.com - HOT

Palms Place Ad - NOT HOT

Feel at home in Vegas, feel at home at Palms Place!

Every room comes with one girl, 3 configurations available:

- Cheerleader Chick - long blond hair, blue eyes, sporty and energetic (as seen on the picture)
- Flight Attendant Chick - short black hair, brown eyes, elegant and caring
- Imported Chick - ranges from Asian to Eastern European; Eskimo, Tasmanians etc available upon special request

Also, every room comes with one milk container, just in case the above weren't enough.

Palms Place Ad - NOT HOT

Vegas Magazine - WE LOVE IT!

We love it because in this magazine you can find THE UGLIEST ADS IN THE WORLD.

Like this one for example.



Keeps us going.

Vegas Magazine - WE LOVE IT!

Vacheron Constantin Campaign, 2nd Installment - HOT

We liked this ad so much that we're posting another one from the same campaign.

Click on the image to see the copy.

Vacheron Constantin - you know what's up.

Vacheron Constantin Campaign, 2nd Installment - HOT

Geneva Seal Chicago Ad - NOT HOT

What a great way to build credibility for your store.

Promote it with a Neanderthal man and his puppet.

But only if it's a sex shop, or a bodybuilding supplements shop.

As far as watches and jewelry go, I would definitely seek advise somewhere else.

Geneva Seal Ad - NOT HOT

Lexus Ad - HOT

Nice and smart Lexus.

Lexus Ad - HOT

Model Search America Ad - NOT HOT

This is hardcore.

This is how I've always imagined German porn stars to look like.

This is going to be a really long model search.

Model Search America Ad - NOT HOT

Prive Las Vegas Ad - PHASE 2, THEY STILL SUCK

Ah!

So there is a second phase to what we posted a few days ago!

Second phase of the "Toilet Diaries" equals bigger close ups.

Dreadful.

We're looking forward to Phase 3, in hope to finally discover what is lying next to the backet.

Prive Las Vegas Ad - PHASE 2, THEY STILL SUCK

Burberry - 1998

We thought it would be nice to remember some old ads.

And compare them with today's work.

It's a great example how companies - and we, the consumers - have evolved.

We begin with the 1998 Burberry ad.

Less industrialized than nowadays, but just as classy.

EOS Ad - NOT HOT

Uncrowded. Uncompromising.

What is uncompromising? Perhaps the guy's grey v-neck lame sweathirt?

And uncrowded?

Only by looking at this ad I feel cramped, as if I was riding the 6 train at 8.30 AM, and I am sitting in a big ass dish chair, home alone!

This is the most crowded ad that I have ever seen.

EOS, what's happening?

First there was a brilliant launching campaign in 2006.

Then an utterly boring campaign with velvet ropes. And now, from a celebrity velvet rope to this.

Advertising-wise this airline is acting like a blind man on a runway.

No good. They should try harder, or will end up like MAXjet.

EOS Ad - NOT HOT

Cadillac Ad - NOT HOT

The only good thing about this Cadillac ad is that it doesn't show the Cadillac.

Which is good, because the car is terribly ugly.

Everything else sucks.

The girl is lacking that special something.

The mystery behind one thousand different typefaces used is still to be solved.

Finally, the inexplicable glow.

Almost perfect Cadillac.

Maybe in 2009 you'll make it.

Cadillac Ad - NOT HOT

Clae Garveys - HOT

We like the orange.

And the beloved slip-on element.

Clae Garveys - HOT

Two Bags - HOT!

It was so warm yesterday and today in New York City that it felt like summer.

For some reason we remembered a photo of Eva Mendes from last year, where she's wearing two bags.

Thinking ahead about all those beautiful spring and summer days in New York in 2008, we are giving two thumbs up to two bags at a time - why not?! :)

Two Bags - HOT!

Rich Prosecco - NOT HOT

Never, ever in my life will I touch this miserable, canned "Prosecco aus Italien" (SIC).

Leave the real prosecco alone!

Rich Prosecco - NOT HOT

Temenos Anguilla Resort Ad - HOT

Anguilla - The Essentialist has been there.

A wonderful place.

Blue sky, azure sea, gold sun, ultra-green palm trees.

Vivid colors everywhere around.

It takes some guts to create a black & white ad for such place.

Hoping it was them having guts, not them being nuts, we vote it HOT.

Temenos Anguilla Resort Ad - HOT

Nizuc Ad - NOT HOT

They tricked me again!

Man. First I got tricked here.

Then this.

I'm thinking - hmmm, that's really smart, a jewelry ad, and the piece is hanging on her back - something new! I will give it a HOT.

And then turns out - it's another real estate ad.

What's wrong with the real estate marketers?

Nizuc Ad - NOT HOT

Nike Sharapova Ad - NOT HOT

Hmm, how shall I put it?

What's worst than promoting a woman who is not really pretty as the hottest babe around?

Promoting a woman who is not really pretty as the hottest babe around, and not dressing her up, and without make up.

Although I must admit that I like the mirror reflection in this photo.

Nike Sharapova Ad - NOT HOT

Cosmopolitan Resort & Casino Ad - NOT HOT

They are selling these fancy and expensive condos, but are too damn cheap to get a decent retoucher.

What the hell is she, a ghost? Floating just like that few inches above her balcony floor?

What software did they use to paste her in, Paintbrush?

Cosmopolitan Resort & Casino Ad - NOT HOT

Bose In-Ear Earphones - EMBARRASSING STORY (But we buy them anyway)

The story of these earphones is embarrassing.

When they came out last year, they were advertised as "Delivering Perfect Sound" or something like that.

Too bad the silicone tips were so terribly designed that people were loosing them in no time, being left with a useless device.

So they redesigned them, and sent a package to those whose addresses they had, stating: "Under some circumstances, tips may fall out...".

I guess they also noticed that the cable was very easy to get damage.

So Bose changed the silicone tips design (it's better), changed their advertising which now proudly announces "COMFORTABLE FIT" (of course), and changed the cable (to a butt ugly and weird looking black and white).

I shouldn't purchase a product which has been such a mishap, yet I bought my third pair already. They do deliver good bass and are price-appropriate - and nothing more.

Bose In-Ear Earphones - EMBARRASSING STORY (But we buy them anyway).

Belvedere Ad, Prive Las Vegas Ad - BORING, BORING, BORING

Two ads, two magazines, two advertisers.

One concept.

BELVEDERE

Belvedere more refined supposedly, but who the fuck drinks vodka with turkey & cheese sandwich?!

Is turkey sandwich the "Reborn Luxury"?

PRIVE

As for Prive, they proudly expose what they sell: girls, boobs, alcohol.

Uhm. Girls? Stupid bitches that run to the toilet, cause they would rather make out with themselves than with jerks that they came with and who are paying for the party.

Judging by the floor, it's all happening in the toilet. The only thing missing are bags of cocaine.

What is the gold thing in front of the champagne bucket? A golden cross? A golden tooth? Help us out!

Bravo. This is really something. We're all impressed. A TOILET AD IT IS.

VERDICT

Belvedere Ad, Prive Las Vegas Ad - BORING, BORING, BORING

Gucci Campaign - HOT

We like this campaign.

There is a sense of travel, sense of adventure.

Safe remoteness.

Gucci Campaign - HOT

Freeze 24/7 Anti-Aging Eye Serum - HOT

We performed a test.

Subject: A successful lawyer.

Characteristics: Works a lot, travels a lot, parties a lot.

Situation:

Flight to Berlin - Work in Berlin - Overnight Party in Berlin - Next Day Flight to NYC - 2 Hour Nap - 6 Hour Hardcore Party in NYC - 3 Hour Nap - Work in NYC.

Outcome: His face looked like shit.

Solution: Quick Freeze 24/7 Anti-Aging Eye Serum treatment at Nickel.

Result: Before we knew it, we were picking up our jaws from the floor. Within 30 seconds bags under eyes disappeared and he was ready to rock again (not his body).

Freeze 24/7 Anti-Aging Eye Serum - HOT

Royal Lahaina Villas Ad - NOT HOT

I've seen this ad a dozen times and always thought it's a jet ad.

I even considered it a nice jet ad, being prettier than its competitors.

Only recently I realized it is not a jet ad, but a Hawaii real estate development ad.

So... what's going on? I am seriously confused. Not a good thing to confuse people, especially when you want to sell them units that cost several millions dollars.

Royal Lahaina Villas Ad - NOT HOT

Ted Baker Ad - HOT

I saw this ad and realized that it reflects exactly how I position Ted Baker.

They are never on my list when I go out shopping, yet anytime I happen to end up in their store, I am always able to find something really nice.

Kind of like the two models - relaxed, not trying to prove anything, so confident in their style that they can let their thoughts go.

Very nice Ted Baker.

Ted Baker Ad - HOT

Shell Ad - NOT HOT

I understand that retro is the thing.

Although I feel like the main hype over retro is long gone.

Anyways, I have no clue what disco esthetics and typeface have to do with an oil company.

Shell Ad - NOT HOT

Roberto Coin Ad - HOT

Because what's simple is often the best.

Roberto Coin Ad - HOT

Charles David Ad - HOT

I like this ad.

For me it proves that serious fashion can be worn and look good just like that, in the street.

Charles David Ad - HOT

Pioneer Ad - NOT HOT

This campaign freaks me out.

Every time I look at one of the ads, I can't think of any other word but "creepy".

Pioneer Ad - NOT HOT

Dunamis Ad - DESPICABLE

Happy New Year Everyone!!!

We wanted to start the New Year with something really nasty.

Thus we're delivering this:



Pretty rough, huh?

Dunamis Ad - DESPICABLE